One of the most popular posts on this site is one entitled Is There a Spiritual Message in Finding Coins? The stories shared on this page have something in common: The events around finding coins are unusual enough to make one feel a sense of awe.
Many people seem to find comfort in “pennies from heaven.” Others, the questioners of the world, like me, want to know “Why?” Why do I keep finding change in weird places?
For those who ask “Why?” my answer is, first, please do not allow anyone else to define what your moments of awe should mean to you. You are the expert on the meaning of your own signs. The same is true of your own gut instinct.
If you’re here seeking and really hope I’m going to provide an answer to this mystery, I’m going to give you some generalizations. I hope you’ll also stick around to read today’s story. It’s about “the signs” we get in life.
If I were to choose a general meaning, I believe that finding coins is communication with the Divine.
Here’s some insight that may help you if you have recently been finding coins under weird circumstances:
Have you been feeling alone? You have just been shown that you are not alone. Your Creator is with you. Your loved ones are with you. Your angels and guides are with you.
Have you been running at Mach 10 speed lately? When we move fast, we are in essence spending time outside of our bodies. Finding change in this instance could be a reminder that you are missing the wonder in the world all around you. Consider this might be a nudge from above to get present. Breathe deeply and look around. What do you see? Take a moment to notice the wonder of the world and allow it to lift you up, to lighten your load.
Does your thinking tend to be very factual, logical, or dare I say, a little rigid? Some things cannot be explained and that is awesome! When you experience a real sense of wonder you have an opportunity to decide what to do with that wonder. Could there be something more to this life than you originally thought? Do you think about the Creator energy, the Father/Mother of humankind? Does “the unexplainable” help you to consider that you may be connected to something much greater?
The world is so magical! Not so much Harry Potter magical~ Divinely magical. No matter what we try to control, we are reminded that all things are in the hands of a guiding energy that’s so much more powerful than us. All things are not meant to be categorized and explained. That’s the fun of it all.
Are you feeling financially insecure? If you find money when you are worried about money, I’d consider it reassurance. I believe this to be direct communication: Your worries have been heard and acknowledged. Once you know that your concerns have been duly noted, consider releasing the fear to the wonder because fear is a blocking energy. Choose faith and allow the Universe to provide.
If you’re like me, I like to try and figure out the ways in which the Creator may provide. I look for potential so I can soothe my mind. When I do this, I’m trying to come up with options for God using a human mind. Why would I want to limit the unlimited?
Do you have a question on your heart? Have you been praying for an answer? Sometimes it helps to back track to exactly what we were thinking about the moment the change was found. Were you considering an action? When you find change the second time were you considering the same action? Look for repeat patterns. These can be affirmations. This is a little more tricky to sort out, but you will get better at it over time. Today’s story has this example in it.
The Signs Are All Around You
Today I’m posting to share my most recent story about finding change and how I accepted it as part of guidance, an affirmation to continue on the path I was on. My Loving Source knows that I interpret the finding of coins as communication. It’s become part of our ongoing conversation.
How do I know that this conversation is with the Source of Light? Because when it happens, it feels like Love. I’m often totally amused. When God winks, I giggle and answer out loud~ I see you.
Recently, I did a blog post about what’s going on behind the scenes in my life as a person experiencing chronic illness. When the idea to do so first arrived, I protested. That’s normal. Right away another idea popped in~ raffle off a cool chair that I had up-cycled to raise money for health treatments.
Groan. Speak about those two things in one post? I knew if it was something I was supposed to do the idea would gain momentum with no help from me. I tried to ignore this inspiration.
What’s the point of writing about illness at all? What am I going to do? Give a manifesto of my current complaints? What do I have to share that might help others? I’m still learning to maneuver the ebbs & flows of this part of the journey.
I could see me running into someone I know after they read my “True Life” story. Would their faces show me that all they can see in me is illness? No, thank you.
I considered my Ego. He’s super slick. I listened as he informed me that if I tell the world and accept help from others, when I run into someone I know in public, in order to justify that help, I need to make sure they can tell I’m sick.
So, Ego, just to clarify~ what you are telling me is that I need to be sure and ACT SICK because that’s what’s expected of me now?
What if I’m having a good day?
Therein lies a test of awareness. I cannot function on autopilot. I need to monitor for the stories and not listen to ego nonsense. I NEED to claim every single second of feeling good that I can. If I’m so tired today that I can’t bring myself to shower but wake up tomorrow feeling rested and pain free, I need to turn the music up, dance around and embrace a “Woo Hoo” kind of day.
One of the biggest invitations hidden in my health situation is to learn about authenticity. Imagine if we were all were in the habit of checking in with our bodies and minds to note our feelings and energy levels and then adjusted our actions accordingly.
What if you didn’t have to push yourself to rest,
or push yourself to do more?
My job is to be in touch with my body, authentic in each moment, allowing each moment the right to be whatever it is. It’s a good idea for me to monitor myself for any “act” by continually asking: How do I really feel right now?
It’s not only that the ego could tell me to “act sick because it’s expected of me.” That same darn ego is responsible for me also “acting just fine” when I feel like crap. We are taught to “act” one way or another. It’s comes almost effortlessly to most of us.
My last protest to God had to do with the whole attention thing. Yes, I do lay it all out here on the blog, so you may be shocked to know that I strongly dislike calling attention to myself and only “go all transparent on you” when I’m strongly compelled by The Force to do so.
With these concerns in mind, I began a conversation with my maker- Do you really want me to write about this? I don’t know why. I don’t know how. I don’t see the point.
That night I walked into my room holding a binder in my hand. I decided, quite randomly, to put the binder on the very bottom of a bookshelf which is tucked behind a dresser, in the corner of my room. There were much easier places to set the binder down. I had to get in an uncomfortable position, reaching forward in a semi-squat. Right in the space I was trying to shove binder was a bright, shiny, penny.
Walk this way..
I smiled. Okay, I told God. That was cute, but if you want me to really take this idea seriously, I’m going to need more.
Soon after, ideas and instruction began to arrive in my awareness. I still felt resistant. But, my brain hurts, I whimpered. Setting up a raffle, creating a blog post, figuring out my website yet again~ Overwhelming! Because I don’t retain what I’ve learned, each new blog post requires me to figure it all out again. There’s a word for that. Tedious. I loathe the tedious.
Okay, okay, God, I said. I’ll try.
Going into my office the next morning, I sat at the computer, with willingness, but very little expectation of myself. I haven’t been able to write in months.
On this day, to my great surprise I was easily able to write. As the post took form, I started to see that it was more than what may be perceived as whining. Whew.
I paused to take my awe in. I could hardly believe that I was writing coherently! I took a deep breath to connect to the joy of this feeling, looked around the room and then down at the floor.
Right next to my foot was a shiny quarter.
Combined with the way the post was flowing, the quarter felt like an affirmation that I was doing the right thing.
Once I finish a post I usually let it go for a day or so, so it can talk to me and tell me if something needs to be fixed. As I went about my day I found myself crying a lot. I found myself scared. I was about to put my heart out there and risk finding out that no one cares.
This gave me an opportunity to sit with this fear and ask it to show me where it came from. The thread of this fear that~ how I feel doesn’t matter~ led back to the five-year-old me. That five-year-old also learned to keep quiet about what she what going through and to not bother anyone with her problems.
I could see this clearly so I asked the Creator this question~ Was that the whole purpose of me writing about this?
Can I get another coin, please? Then we can be done here. No actual posting needed.
With no affirmation that I was done, I began to dread the rest of the process. Ideas were still forthcoming: Create links within the page. Create an opt-in mailing list for future crafty stuff. Put different Paypal buttons with options for raffle tickets.
This is way too much for a neurological impairment. Yes, it’s a good idea for me to stretch the brain a bit in order to exercise it. What’s not a good stretch? The intense frustration I feel when I sit down intending to do something, then get confused, then force my way through it. When I pay bills or try to balance my bank account I can feel my brain running around erratically within my head, slamming up against the walls of my skull like it wants to escape its abuser. Sigh.
There’s a fine line between a good stretch and blowing the circuitry. I used to be capable of a lot, so I often misjudge my current capacity and fry the motherboard.
I decided to just take the next step.
I’m not capable of seeing my errors or ensuring that I’m following a train of thought, so my posts should be professionally edited (obviously, they are all not). A good friend volunteered to edit my post and I felt myself relax. I had bought some time.
Wrong. He reviewed it and sent it back right away. A remarkably clean edit. Very surprising. Something was definitely going on.
All righty then. I decided to take one more step. I set about the task of transferring my writing to Word press and formatting it. Next, I slowly allowed myself to relearn some technical detail stuff. Staying in the moment, I found each thing came together steadily and remarkably without internal brain drama.
Somebody pinch me. This is a BIG DEAL! It’s not just that I haven’t been able to write. I have content for the website that’s been ready to roll out for years now. It waits because I’ve been unable to finish simply setting it up to roll out, a process a lot easier than all the technical stuff I’d now just done. I haven’t been able to do even simple things!
A hush came over me. I was at maximum awe level. Who am I?
I often stop to marvel at life happenings which opens space for insight. I finally truly and totally accepted that without a shadow of a doubt, I was meant to tell my story.
I needed to rest my brain so I took a break. I sat down on the couch to rejuvenate myself with an episode of Super Soul Sunday. Oprah’s guest was author, Brene Brown. I don’t know Brene. Yet, as she began to speak of courage and vulnerability I knew I was listening to a soul sister.
Truth is, I don’t know if this actually happened, or if I’m delusional. I’ve since went back and tried to find the part of the episode where Brene says these words and couldn’t. But on that particular day as I took a break from wrapping up my post I heard her say that “She sometimes doesn’t know why she writes about the stuff that she does.” She thinks “That part of her gift is putting the words to things that others might be able to relate to.”
I felt the sense of knowing come over me. I’m very aware that I’m not alone with chronic illness. Maybe I’d been able to give voice to the experience of many.
There was the answer. I knew it had to be about more than me!
Naturally, the next thing I did was try to figure out what the Creator’s next steps would be. Would my raffle be a success because I’m a good girl following her guidance? Or, would it bomb and I’d grow through disappointment, still rewarded by having been true to myself and willing to stand in complete vulnerability? That alone is empowering. Or, would a wholly different meaning be revealed?
Before I hit the publish button, I let all thoughts go with my final prayer.
I release all attachment to the outcome and give all of my wonder to you. I won’t wonder any more about the reasons and I will wait for you, my Creator, to reveal to me what it is I need to know.
Peace came, along with a sprinkle of joy. Little did I know at that moment how much awe would follow. It’s definitely an awe-some life.
Peace & Love~
P.S. Today is not the same. It’s not an easy brain day, so please forgive any apparent errors.
To read the story referenced in this post click here: Fundraiser for Health
To visit the first post about finding change click here: Is there a Spiritual Message in Finding Coins?
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© 2013 Kim Vazquez All rights reserved. www.kimvazquez.com You may make copies of this message and distribute in any media as long as you change nothing, credit the author, and include this copyright notice and web address.
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