There’s a Reason You’re Feeling Unsettled Right Now
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feeling unsettledIt happened again on Saturday. I wandered around my house slowly moving from one activity to another unconsciously seeking engagement in activity that would make me feel settled.

I sat outside in the sun. Read a little bit. Rested. Spent some time sharing love with my number one fan, the neighbor’s cat. I helped my mom redo her bookcase. Got online for a minute. Planned a healthy meal in my head, but just could not rally to make it.

I was a zombie.

The settled feeling I was seeking never came.

I wasn’t upset, bored, or desperate to find something to do. I wasn’t restless or discontent. I was just seeking SOMETHING. Quietly. Peacefully. Unaware. The evening came and as I felt the internal pull to slowly move yet again to another activity, I finally remembered why:

This is the new normal.

Acceptance moved through me bringing with it the feeling I’d been seeking. Ahhh. There is nothing for me to do other than accept that feeling unsettled right now is normal.

The world is evolving.

Evolution is not a settled energy. As a planet we go through energetic growth spurts and when that happens humans experience this internally. It feels like being on shaky ground. And we literally are on shaky ground when Mother Earth vibrates intensely through these phases.

The message I hear within is:

“May you try to accept it and find peace in the knowledge that we are advancing. There is purpose to it. Lean into hope. It’s for the greater good.”

This also explains the intensity and tragic choices that some humans have made recently. Advancement is intense. It will magnify inner disharmony.

So, how does one move through these times as gracefully and comfortably as possible? I’m writing this post to share with you the divine guidance I’ve received. This advice is not just for me.reason you're unsettled

Picture your feet on two independently moving pieces of solid ground, I was told. (The visual was two tectonic plates moving side by side during the ground shift that causes an earthquake.)

Rather than lock your knees in place, bend your knees, allowing each piece of ground to move freely, rocking back and forth, or side to side gently, as necessary to be in flow.

(I can still see the visual and it looks like I’m ground surfing. Smile.)

It would be best if you don’t expect both pieces beneath your feet to settle down and lock together to become one solid inflexible piece, the advice continued.

Those days are over. (Forever? I don’t know.)

Accept that things have changed and the ground is going to continue to move beneath your feet. The unexpected should be expected. Unsettled is the new feeling of settled. Flowing is the new feeling of grounded.

You’re encouraged to let go of trying to get back to “How I used to feel.”

It’s true; your old ways of getting grounded and meditating are not working the same in this new paradigm. It’s okay. That doesn’t mean that something is wrong. Your practices are still good to use~ but not out of habit, as if on auto-pilot. You will need to stop and ask yourself~ Does it FEEL right to you?

Much of this current energy shift is to move you out of your old comfy habits and further into your Feeling Self. “Learned behavior” isn’t working for you now because you are meant to stop and feel what it is that you should do next.

Please give yourself a break and let go of the frustration you feel when your old “good habits” can no longer produce “the old feeling.”

It’s still okay. Everything is still okay.

You are being assisted with the release of your old measuring sticks. We encourage you to let the practice of measuring go without a second thought. It doesn’t serve you. 

Accept change. Accept yourself in every state without chastising. Accept that others are uncomfortable as well and need your compassion more than judgment. 

Yes, there are loud, intrusive voices of discontent in the media right now. It’s part of the process. There is always a higher purpose.

The route to the peace you seek lies in This Very Moment. There may be a vortex moving around you, you may see it peripherally, but what affects you is what you choose to bring into your awareness through your focus. Look for beauty, joy and love and you will still find it. 

Peace & Love to you all,

Kim

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© 2013 Kim Vazquez All rights reserved. www.kimvazquez.com You may make copies of this message and distribute in any media as long as you change nothing, credit the author, and include this copyright notice and web address.

 

The Meaning of Finding Coins: The “Signs” in Life
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One of the most popular posts on this site is one entitled Is There a Spiritual Message in Finding Coins? The stories shared on this page have something in common: The events around finding coins are unusual enough to make one feel a sense of awe. Many people seem to find comfort in “pennies from heaven.” Others, the questioners of the world, like me, want to know “Why?” Why do I keep finding change in weird places? For those who ask “Why?” my answer is, first, please do not allow anyone else to define what your moments of awe should mean to you. You are the expert on the meaning of your own signs. The same is true of your own gut instinct. If you’re here seeking and really hope I’m going to provide an answer to this mystery, I’m going to give you some generalizations. I hope you’ll also stick around to read today’s story. It’s about “the signs” we get in life. 

If I were to choose a general meaning, I believe that finding coins is communication with the Divine.

Here’s some insight that may help you if you have recently been finding coins under weird circumstances:

Have you been feeling alone? You have just been shown that you are not alone. Your Creator is with you. Your loved ones are with you. Your angels and guides are with you. Have you been running at Mach 10 speed lately? When we move fast, we are in essence spending time outside of our bodies. Finding change in this instance could be a reminder that you are missing the wonder in the world all around you. Consider this might be a nudge from above to get present. Breathe deeply and look around. What do you see? Take a moment to notice the wonder of the world and allow it to lift you up, to lighten your load. Does your thinking tend to be very factual, logical, or dare I say, a little rigid? Some things cannot be explained and that is awesome! When you experience a real sense of wonder you have an opportunity to decide what to do with that wonder. Could there be something more to this life than you originally thought?  Do you think about the Creator energy, the Father/Mother of humankind? Does “the unexplainable” help you to consider that you may be connected to something much greater? The world is so magical! Not so much Harry Potter magical~ Divinely magical. No matter what we try to control, we are reminded  that all things are in the hands of a guiding energy that’s so much more powerful than us. All things are not meant to be categorized and explained. That’s the fun of it all. Fortuna~ The Roman Goddess of Fortune Are you feeling financially insecure? If you find money when you are worried about money, I’d consider it reassurance. I believe this to be direct communication: Your worries have been heard and acknowledged. Once you know that your concerns have been duly noted, consider releasing the fear to the wonder because fear is a blocking energy. Choose faith and allow the Universe to provide. If you’re like me, I like to try and figure out the ways in which the Creator may provide. I look for potential so I can soothe my mind. When I do this, I’m trying to come up with options for God using a human mind. Why would I want to limit the unlimited? Do you have a question on your heart? Have you been praying for an answer? Sometimes it helps to back track to exactly what we were thinking about the moment the change was found. Were you considering an action? When you find change the second time were you considering the same action? Look for repeat patterns. These can be affirmations. This is a little more tricky to sort out, but you will get better at it over time. Today’s story has this example in it.

The Signs Are All Around You

Today I’m posting to share my most recent story about finding change and how I accepted it as part of guidance, an affirmation to continue on the path I was on. My Loving Source knows that I interpret the finding of coins as communication. It’s become part of our ongoing conversation. How do I know that this conversation is with the Source of Light? Because when it happens, it feels like Love. I’m often totally amused. When God winks, I giggle and answer out loud~ I see you. Recently, I did a blog post about what’s going on behind the scenes in my life as a person experiencing chronic illness. When the idea to do so first arrived, I protested. That’s normal. Right away another idea popped in~ a fundraiser to raise money for health treatments. Groan. Speak about those two things in one post? I knew if it was something I was supposed to do the idea would gain momentum with no help from me. I tried to ignore this inspiration. What’s the point of writing about illness at all? What am I going to do? Give a manifesto of my current complaints? What do I have to share that might help others? I’m still learning to maneuver the ebbs & flows of this part of the journey. I could see me running into someone I know after they read my “True Life” story. Would their faces show me that all they can see in me is illness? No, thank you. I considered my Ego. He’s super slick. I listened as he informed me that if I tell the world and accept help from others, when I run into someone I know in public, in order to justify that help, I need to make sure they can tell I’m sick. So, Ego, just to clarify~ what you are telling me is that I need to be sure and ACT SICK because that’s what’s expected of me now? What if I’m having a good day? Therein lies a test of awareness. I cannot function on autopilot. I need to monitor for the stories and not listen to ego nonsense. I NEED to claim every single second of feeling good that I can. If I’m so tired today that I can’t bring myself to shower but wake up tomorrow feeling rested and pain free, I need to turn the music up, dance around and embrace a “Woo Hoo” kind of day. One of the biggest invitations hidden in my health situation is to learn about authenticity. Imagine if we were all were in the habit of checking in with our bodies and minds to note our feelings and energy levels and then adjusted our actions accordingly. 

What if you didn’t have to push yourself to rest,

or push yourself to do more?

My job is to be in touch with my body, authentic in each moment, allowing each moment the right to be whatever it is. It’s a good idea for me to monitor myself for any “act” by continually asking: How do I really feel right now? It’s not only that the ego could tell me to “act sick because it’s expected of me.” That same darn ego is responsible for me also “acting just fine” when I feel like crap. We are taught to “act” one way or another. It’s comes almost effortlessly to most of us. My last protest to God had to do with the whole attention thing. Yes, I do lay it all out here on the blog, so you may be shocked to know that I strongly dislike calling attention to myself and only “go all transparent on you” when I’m strongly compelled by The Force to do so. With these concerns in mind, I began a conversation with my maker- Do you really want me to write about this? I don’t know why. I don’t know how. I don’t see the point. That night I walked into my room holding a binder in my hand. I decided, quite randomly, to put the binder on the very bottom of a bookshelf which is tucked behind a dresser, in the corner of my room. There were much easier places to set the binder down. The position I got into was uncomfortable. Right in the space I was trying to shove binder was a bright, shiny, penny.

Walk this way..

Walk this way..

I smiled. Okay, I told God. That was cute, but if you want me to really take this idea seriously, I’m going to need more. Soon after, ideas and instruction began to arrive in my awareness. I still felt resistant. But, my brain hurts, I whimpered. Creating a blog post, figuring out my website yet again~ Overwhelming! Because I don’t retain what I’ve learned, each new blog post requires me to figure it all out again. There’s a word for that. Tedious. I loathe the tedious. Okay, okay, God, I said. I’ll try. Going into my office the next morning, I sat at the computer, with willingness, but very little expectation of myself. I haven’t been able to write in months. On this day, to my great surprise I was easily able to write. As the post  took form, I started to see that it was more than what may be perceived as whining. Whew. I paused to take my awe in. I could hardly believe that I was writing coherently! I took a deep breath to connect to the joy of this feeling, looked around the room and then down at the floor. Right next to my foot was a shiny quarter. Combined with the way the post was flowing, the quarter felt like an affirmation that I was doing the right thing. Once I finish a post I usually let it go for a day or so, so it can talk to me and tell me if something needs to be fixed. As I went about my day I found myself crying a lot. I found myself scared. I was about to put my heart out there and risk finding out that no one cares. sunny-nature-landscape---child-cute This gave me an opportunity to sit with this fear and ask it to show me where it came from. The thread of this fear that~ how I feel doesn’t matter~ led back to the five-year-old me. That five-year-old also learned to keep quiet about what she what going through and to not bother anyone with her problems. I could see this clearly so I asked the Creator this question~ Was that the whole purpose of me writing about this? Can I get another coin, please? Then we can be done here. No actual posting needed. With no affirmation that I was done, I began to dread the rest of the process. Ideas were still forthcoming: Create links within the page. Create Paypal buttons. This is way too much for a neurological impairment. Yes, it’s a good idea for me to stretch the brain a bit in order to exercise it. What’s not a good stretch? The intense frustration I feel when I sit down intending to do something, then get confused, then force my way through it. When I pay bills or try to balance my bank account I can feel my brain running around erratically within my head, slamming up against the walls of my skull like it wants to escape its abuser. Sigh. There’s a fine line between a good stretch and blowing the circuitry. I used to be capable of a lot, so I often misjudge my current capacity and fry the motherboard. I decided to just take the next step. I’m not capable of seeing my errors or ensuring that I’m following a train of thought, so my posts should be professionally edited (obviously, they are all not). A good friend volunteered to edit my post and I felt myself relax. I had bought some time. Wrong. He reviewed it and sent it back right away. A remarkably clean edit. Very surprising. Something was definitely going on. All righty then. I decided to take one more step. I set about the task of transferring my writing to Word press and formatting it. Next, I slowly allowed myself to relearn some technical detail stuff. Staying in the moment, I found each thing came together steadily and remarkably without internal brain drama. Somebody pinch me. This is a BIG DEAL! It’s not just that I haven’t been able to write. I have content for the website that’s been ready to roll out for years now. It waits because I’ve been unable to finish simply setting it up to roll out, a process a lot easier than all the technical stuff I’d now just done. I haven’t been able to do even simple things! A hush came over me. I was at maximum awe level. Who am I? I often stop to marvel at life happenings which opens space for insight. I finally truly and totally accepted that without a shadow of a doubt, I was meant to tell my story. But~ Why?  I needed to rest my brain so I took a break. I sat down on the couch to rejuvenate myself with an episode of Super Soul Sunday. Oprah’s guest was author, Brene Brown. I don’t know Brene. Yet, as she began to speak of courage and vulnerability I knew I was listening to a soul sister. Truth is, I don’t know if this actually happened, or if I’m delusional. I’ve since went back and tried to find the part of the episode where Brene says these words and couldn’t. But on that particular day as I took a break from wrapping up my post I heard her say that “She sometimes doesn’t know why she writes about the stuff that she does.” She thinks “That part of her gift is putting the words to things that others might be able to relate to.” I felt the sense of knowing come over me. I’m very aware that I’m not alone with chronic illness. Maybe I’d been able to give voice to the experience of many. There was the answer. I knew it had to be about more than me! Naturally, the next thing I did was try to figure out what the Creator’s next steps would be. Would my attempt at fundraising be a success because I’m a good girl following her guidance? Or, would it bomb and I’d grow through disappointment, still rewarded by having been true to myself and willing to stand in complete vulnerability? That alone is empowering. Or, would a wholly different meaning be revealed? Before I hit the publish button, I let all thoughts go with my final prayer.

doveI release all attachment to the outcome and give all of my wonder to you. I won’t wonder any more about the reasons and I will wait for you, my Creator, to reveal to me what it is I need to know. 

Peace came, along with a sprinkle of joy. Little did I know at that moment how much awe would follow. It’s definitely an awe-some life. Peace & Love~ Kim If you are here, please click the “like” button. It helps me to know that I’m not alone here on the page. 🙂 P.S. Today is not the same. It’s not an easy brain day, so please forgive any apparent errors. To read the story referenced in this post click here: Fundraiser for Health  To visit the first post about finding change click here: Is there a Spiritual Message in Finding Coins? If you like what you see here, please help me spread the love! Tweet it, share it on Facebook or email a friend with the link. All the handy links are at the bottom of this page to make it easy. Many thanks for your help. I appreciate it! I’d love to hear from you! Scroll down to find the reply area and please share with us! If you’d like to receive my updates, please go to the top of the page, on the right side, click on the orange icon for “feed” or the green icon for “email.” This will immediately generate a confirmation sent to your email, so please go check for it. If you don’t see a request for confirmation, please check your spam folder and then confirm your subscription. It’s a 2-step process for your protection.

© 2013 Kim Vazquez All rights reserved. www.kimvazquez.com You may make copies of this message and distribute in any media as long as you change nothing, credit the author, and include this copyright notice and web address.
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